Flight 010: Too Much Information

On my flight from Minneapolis to Chicago O'Hare yesterday, our pilot came on the intercom at the end of our descent to mention that we might have noticed that the plane switched runways at the last minute. He then went on to explain that it was because he was notified at 5 miles away that there was debris on the runway we were initially assigned to. Now, I'm obviously very happy that we switched runways and that the debris was noticed by someone. However, I then had images of debris ripping through the fuselage...and well, you know the rest. It got me thinking about the topic of TMI - too much information. I'm the type of person who wears her heart on her sleeve, which has gotten me in a fair amount of trouble in the past. Even so, I recognize there are many situations where you can provide too much information.

I made this mistake at work about a year and a half ago when I let the head of another business unit know that I was not interested in moving to a position on his team. I went on to explain that I felt it would be a step backwards for me. I thought it was a civil conversation that resulted in a mutual understanding. Little did I know that it would turn into a gigantic clusterf*ck resulting in me sitting with 2 execs chastising me for acting entitled and disrespectful to the "chain of command." Honestly, the phrase "chain of command" was used more than once. I couldn't believe I was hearing this at a company with less than 40 employees at the time. Talk about disappointing.

I've also seen the perils of TMI in my personal life. Take, for example, the case where you find out that your friend's significant other is less than perfect. Had you asked me 10 years ago where I stood on this issue, I would have been adamant that honesty is the best policy in every situation. Since then though, I've seen friendships fall apart over bad relationships and experienced it first-hand myself. I had an interesting conversation with a close friend about this issue recently and she made a great point: if your friend already knows her boyfriend or husband has done questionable things in the past, what's the point of raising it again? Clearly some comfort level with his faults has already been established so isn't it just damaging to your own personal friendship to aggravate a sore point? These days, if I have a concern, my policy is to just say it once and never again. Is that right though? I have no clue - I think it balances my need to say something with my wish to keep the friendship on an even keel.